The Misconceptions of Borderline Personality Disorder

I want to talk about a topic that doesn’t get the attention that it deserves, and the attention that it does get is generally negative. Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental disorder which develops as a result of a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Traumatic events that occur during childhood are associated with individuals developing BPD. Many people with BPD are known to have experienced parental neglect, physical, sexual or emotional abuse during their childhood. BPD is massively under researched, with even professionals not knowing enough about the illness to be able to support patients effectively. Any research that has been done surrounding BPD is massively outdated, with the most recent research being over 10 years ago.

When I got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, my first thought was “oh my god, that is what serial killers have.” Literally. I was so panicked and scared and instantly thought I was a bad person. I took to Instagram to try and find others with this illness and began doing my own research. I found a huge community of fellow sufferers. This was when I realised just how under-researched it was and the vast amount of stigma attached to this illness. At first, I thought “how on earth could people, and even professionals, think negatively about an illness that causes such severe emotional distress to the sufferer?” And if I’m honest, it massively changes the way I feel about my own diagnosis. I found this the hardest part of all. Many people with BPD have been labelled as ‘dangerous’ and ‘manipulative’ which is not the case what so ever! (If you know me, I am positive you can vouch for me here!!! Deffo the least dangerous person around lol). Individuals with BPD can experience fits of rage and anger but will only harm themselves - never other people. Every single person I spoke to with BDP has said that they are ashamed of their illness. I found this so sad and want to make a change. My aim is to raise more awareness about BPD so people have a clearer understanding about what it actually is. So, here’s a snippet of information which may make it clearer to some of you.

Borderline personality disorder symptoms are very similar to Bipolar disorder, with individuals experiencing extreme mood swings which can change very quickly rather than over a long period of time with bipolar disorder. The symptoms of borderline personality disorder are grouped into 4 main areas which include; emotional instability, distressed patterns of thinking, impulsive behaviour and intense & unstable relationships with others. To be diagnosed, you have to possess 5 out of 9 symptoms of the disorder which include; extreme fear of abandonment, unstable relationships with others, confused feelings about who you are, impulsive and damaging behaviour e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, regular self-harming & suicidal behaviour, long lasting feelings of emptiness, difficulty controlling anger, intense, highly changeable moods and paranoia. The stigma that comes with these more complex mental illnesses such as BPD are often because certain psychopaths can have a dual diagnosis of a personality disorder. But psychopathy in itself is a completely different mental illness and is what people like serial killers are diagnosed with. I promise you all I am not a psychopath lol. I hid this and tried to manage my symptoms whilst at university without seeking any help, even though I knew something was not right. Still to this day I am not sure how I managed it…. but getting the diagnosis in my final year really made a lot of things click and make sense to me.

I think what I really want to say is thank you for bearing with me, especially if we are friends or we were friends at university. I know at times I may have acted out of anger, or paranoia, and maybe said or done things that were wrong, but I have always wanted the best for other people and really and truly want to feel happy and content within myself. I’m not there yet but I know that with the help of therapy and medication I will most definitely get there. This is also so new to me and I have had to learn so much about it myself, as I had never really heard of it apart from briefly in my criminal psychology class at uni (!!!!!) which is probably why I was so frightened when I heard the diagnosis lol. I would love for the stigma that is attached to BPD to disappear, and I know that it only exists because people do not understand what it really is. This is why I have decided to do this blog post, to hopefully raise awareness about the illness, as the more people know and understand, the more people will realise that we are not bad people, just suffering.

Thank you so much if you got to the end of this & thank you to my incredibly clever & talented friend Sophie for letting me feature on this blog! Xxx