Experiencing Social Anxiety at University

Social anxiety was never something that I thought that I’d experience, being an outgoing and confident extrovert all my life.

University definitely sets people up with the recipe of developing these types of things since it comes with such prolonged periods of isolation combined with the non-stop partying.

I was going out 3/4 times a week, most weeks, during my time in uni. The alcohol, party life and financial hardships that can easily unfold at uni put me in positions where I started developing an intermittent anxious tendency when socialising. It wasn’t always present, but was very intense when it did occur. I was also involved in the underground music scene which is a playground that enables regular intoxication to extreme levels.

After realising that I was feeling different to usual, I eventually realised I had to slow down with the nights out & start to look within myself to find the fix. The majority of the on and off challenge with it was actually the self-battles more than the experiences themselves. I resented the fact that I was being affected by it rather than facing it head-on and understanding it. I kept telling myself “I’m not an anxious person. I shouldn’t feel like this”, which only made the thoughts spiral more and put me even more inside my own head.

The social anxiety was more-so self centred; I’d be consistently thinking about what people are thinking of me rather than being in the moment and being present in conversation, which detracted from the conversations.

After making the necessary adjustments to my lifestyle and putting myself first, I then started to open up to self-development work and started daily breath-work exercises. This included journaling and using the Headspace app. Both of these allowed me to understand my thought patterns way better and that allowed me to accept and learn that it was totally normal.

It’s human nature to feel anxious. It’s about how we perceive those feelings which creates the spike in anxiety intensity. It’s so easy to feed into it with negative connotations which then creates anxiety out of no where, and then that spirals.

Since leaving uni, I have really been able to put the time into understanding my own mind and learn to control my mind & thoughts with a good overall level of control. Things got 10x better for me when I realised that it’s okay to feel anxious; it’s how you perceive that feeling and the habits you have in your lifestyle which determine whether or not it becomes a problem.

Ash (uni graduate, DJ/producer)

You can check out Ash’s music here: https://linktr.ee/espreemusicuk